Big Hair Can Mean Business
I have naturally very thick, very wavy hair. When I say “very” - I mean VERY. If I have my hair up all day, it gives me a headache because it’s SO heavy.
For decades, I was embarrassed and ashamed of my hair.
In elementary and junior high school I tied it back so no one could see how “unruly” it was. Then in high school, I discovered the power of a blow dryer and a round brush. I’d spend hours straightening my hair section by section, then adding loose curls in with a curling iron. Yes, I re-CURLED my hair. The difference was that these curls were neat, pretty, and “acceptable.” I did this for years.
My professional life compounded these feelings. I believed that perfectly straight hair was synonymous with being taken seriously. These notions didn’t just appear out of thin air; they were shaped by societal expectations, cultural norms, and family influences. As women, we’re often subjected to rigid standards about our appearance. I followed these standards for so long that I actually thought I felt confident when my hair was straight.
Recently, I decided I didn’t want to do my hair anymore. The initial impetus was that it was just easier not to worry about it while traveling (if you’ve ever taken a blow dryer from the US to Europe, you know it takes .001 seconds before the voltage fries the dryer. Besides, I was going to Greece, so my big wavy hair felt on brand). Being reunited with my natural hair for a few weeks gave me a chance to actually appreciate and LOVE it. I felt more powerful than I ever did with straight hair. I felt natural, I felt free, I felt like ME.
This isn’t to say everyone should wear their hair naturally. It’s about doing what makes you feel most like YOU, not what you think you need to do to be taken seriously by others. Whether you prefer combat boots over heels, power suits over dresses, or a full face of makeup instead of just facial SPF (seriously, always wear SPF), do what feels truest to you.
Have you altered something about yourself based on external stories? Sometimes, we’ve lived with these stories for so long we’ve stopped noticing them. I invite you to check in with yourself and embrace what makes you feel like YOU.
